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Prattle of the sexes

In this blog I want to talk about a further presentation of two fellow stuents of our course. Their subject was to find out wether men and women "speak the same language" or not. For finding out the differences, they got an article in our book like the other groups, too.

The results the gained out of this text were that there are some basic differences between the two sexes.

So men would often confirm the stereoptype of being bad listeners in regard of female prattling. They would rather prefer to discuss something with facts and arguments because they see the conversation as concerned with their status, like they had to prove themselves and assert independance.

On the side of the women there are the aspects that they would for example never get to the point when they tell you something. Besides, they would take everything too serious and always want to enhance intimicy as well as reinforce the relationship towards the dialogue partner. In contrast to men, they like it to share all their feelings with others, in particular with their best friends.

An example for the different ways of talking between men and women is the "Lost-in-the-car scenario". If women get lost, they want to ask other people for the direction etc., also because this would reinforce the bond between the people. Men on the other side rather give information than ask to receive some.

Another point was boasting. In regard to men, they would do it for gaining a higher status towards the other men around them, to dominate. In regard to women, it looks completly different. They try even to avoid boasting at all because they want to be accepted by everybody and don't impress the others.

To sum up, the main problem respectively difference in the way women and men are talking is the meta-message of what they say, "the unspoken attitudes, thoughts and intentions behind the main message" to quote our book (Viewfinder;p.57,l.89f).

So as a conclusion, according to the author of the article, Deborah Tannen, men and women do not speak the same language at all. The point is that they have different "aims" they want to achieve and the way of communicating itself (->meta-message).

29.5.11 22:16

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